I tried setting up a date for today. Who knew that nearly every guy does indeed watch the Superbowl. Out of the three guys who want to take me out at some point, all three had superbowl plans. So I'm going to take the opportunity to update the blog, do more shopping for men, and watch the commercials. So far, I'm not impressed with the ads.
I've already had two guys call me back. Now the challenge starts: how to have second dates while I'm still trying to fit in at least two new dates a week? And to do this with a very busy work and social life? Its a lot of work. I had to reschedule a date originally scheduled for this past Friday because of a work deadline. Not good for progression. One of the guys texts me during the day, once asking if he could call me. At the time, I was way too busy to talk to anyone, so I told him no. It already feels like he's assuming too much familiarity which will only make me run in the other direction.
I've also realized that being told I'm sexy bothers me to some degree. It reduces me to feel one-dimensional, like this is all these men see. I'm not saying I hear this all the time (yes, poor me, poor misunderstood sex symbol - right), I've just never felt that I was, so when its expressed, its disconcerting. Anyway, I've been told that I should get used to it.
Enough of that. On to this past week's dates:
DATE 5, SUNDAY, JANUARY 25
2:00-5:10PM
THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART
CRAIGSLIST POST
This is the first date resulting from Shana's posting on Craigslist.com. We had exchanged a couple of emails, he saw that in the ad Shana had mentioned that I liked museums, and suggested we go see the Italian show Art and Love in Renaissance Italy at the Met. We met up at the Info desk, he got tickets (paid full price for them, which I never do - its a suggested donation).
I've found I like going to a museum for a date - there's no pressure to talk the entire time like there is when you go out for a drink. For conversation, there are plenty of subjects to discuss as you are surrounded by art. He also seemed to have a good grasp on Italian painters.
As we walked through the museum, he told me about his career - he's a chef. He's worked in a couple of fantastic restaurants in New York - La Bernadine, and one of Bobby Flay's restaurants, and he now is a chef for a hotel. Better life style, no working weekends.
The Italian show at the Met is pretty amazing. There is quite a range of history, but one of the more interesting rooms was the one filled with etchings, sketches, and paintings of what the Met has called 'amorous subjects'. My date seemed somewhat embarrassed, and wasn't sure if it was appropriate. I think he was kidding, but not sure. We're walking along, and notice these two older Italian women standing in front of an elaborate drawing, and they are speaking in Italian and laughing. The whole drawing is about four feet long, I start looking at it, and it seems to be a procession of some sort, and I'm looking some more, and then notice the people portrayed at the end of the procession are holding something on a platform of some sort, like what the Roman aristocracy was carried around on. i look more closely, and the people are holding up a giant penis. This is what the older Italian women were laughing at. This is why I love Europeans - chances are if these were two older American women, they wouldn't be laughing at the absurdity of the scene. And it was absurd - based on the scale of the people, it had to be at least ten feet long and three feet high. Wow. Made me think of these two lesbians I met in San Francisco at the Pride Parade on year, asking, "Could you take this much?" in asking me about Dennis Rodman.
My date also saw the humor in the situation, so that was good.
After walking through the very crowded Rafael to Renoir drawing exhibit, we went down to the cafe to get something to eat. This was around 4:30 or so, and we talked until the museum was closing. He walked me to the subway, gave me a kiss, and said that he'd call.
He has called since then - he's the one who has been texting me during the day, and has called a couple of times. We're going to meet up on Tuesday of this week.
DATE 6, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 28
8:00-10:15PM
LUCKY STRIKE, SOHO
CRAIGSLIST POST
This date was with the guy who Shana had hoped I'd gone out with first from the craigslist.com posting. I had had a very busy day and just about made it out of the office to meet up with him - luckily we were meeting near my office.
I'd have to say that meeting up with someone during a week I've got a major deadline on a day that I have an all day meeting with engineers is not a good idea. I was still stressed out, and he seemed nervous anyway. We grabbed a table, ordered some food and wine, and started with some nervous chatter. I just couldn't wait to eat - I was starving.
I ended up talking way too much about work - how could I not with the day I had? He ended up talking a lot about his father. His dad recently had some health problems, and I know what that's like. I could sympathize, but it's just not the most uplifting conversation for a first date. He also started telling me about how hard it is to date in this city. You're telling me!
We finished dinner, ordered coffee, and he grabbed the check. Nice guy, but I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Week 3
So, these things are getting easier. This attitude may have been helped due to the caliber of the two guys I went out with this week. Both very seemingly decent men, both smart and accomplished. Both somewhat attractive without being devastatingly so, both just charming enough without me getting completely lost and not being able to keep track of how I feel about things, which most of the time results in me making bad decisions about men. That's always the challenging thing with really charismatic guys who are either A. really bad for me, or B. really bad for me plus they're involved with 2 or 3 other women. I'd probably go out with either of them again.
DATE 3, SUNDAY, JANUARY 18
8:00-11:15PM
LOCAL BAR, WATERFRONT
FRIEND
A couple of weeks ago, a friend said to me when we were at Fresh Salt, "I told my ex about the bet. He wants to take you out." My reaction was first, "And this is ok with you?!" She was perfectly fine with it, in fact she sounded relieved. He was soon leaving on a month long trek to South America, so over drinks the two of us discussed whether it would be strategically better to go out with him before he left, or when he returned. The option of 'before he left' won out for whatever reason that night, so before I left for a weekend away, I emailed him telling him we should go for a drink before he left. He replied that he'd love to, so we set a date for that Sunday at 8PM.
It was the night before a holiday (not that I had the day off) so bars were crowded. It was also a night for football playoffs, so one of the bars we tried to go to was miserably loud and full of obnoxious sports fans. We settled on a bar that neither of us would normally go to, but at least there weren't any big screen TVs. We both decided on wine, and the waitress suggested a bottle. Over wine, we discussed architecture, sailing, his trip, many things. He asked me about the bet, so I told him about - all the rules, how it had been going so far, the prize at the end if I won. He told me he could help me out, and suggested two friends he could set me up with, three if I really needed it. At this point, I'm thinking to myself, "OK, this is just a friend date, he's trying to hook me up with other guys, he's not interested."
A couple of minutes later, he leaned over and kissed me. It was surprising, but an nice suprise. We walked down to the water, kissed some more while overlooking the Brooklyn Bridge, and then he walked me home.
We also hung out Inauguration Night at a moveon.com party, but a second date with one of the 15 doesn't count towards the total.
DATE 4, JANUARY 22
8:30-10:50PM
FLATIRON LOUNGE
CHRIS
Chris is the guy that my friend Kathleen met in a bar. He's a very busy guy, so it took a while to set a date, and even then, we needed to reschedule. Seems like a bad sign, right? I decide to meet with him anyway, since I'm running behind my goal of two a week - at this point, I'd only had 3 dates in the same number of weeks, and I was getting worried. Seemed like a trip to Prague was already slipping through my grasp.
The day we were to meet up, he emails me, confirming the date, and telling me how to spot him - red suspenders. Kathleen had already told me that he was wearing a bow tie when she met him, so this wasn't a surprise, but i'd never been out with a guy wearing suspenders, much less a bow tie before. Trying not to let my fashion sense get the best of me.
We met up at the Flatiron Lounge. I'd never been there on a busy night, and it was pretty crowded. We got there around the same time, and he was easy to spot. He went to the bar and ordered drinks, Malbec for me, Sidecar for him. He was a really interesting guy to talk to - worked in finance, but went to Princeton for physics. Funny that this is actually applicable to finance, but there you go.
I had to silence the snobby fashion voice in my head going, "Ah suspenders! Ah, pleated pants? Really?" It should just shut up.
Then something funny started to happen. All of a sudden, a woman's voice, an high pitched one at that, came through the crowd really clearly. I noticed it as the one of a woman I was standing behind when I first got to the bar. She was standing probably twenty feet from where we were sitting, but it sounded like she had just pulled up a chair and was SCREAMING IN MY EAR. I asked Chris if he had heard it, he hadn't. A minute later, he did, and was like, "Oh my god, where is that coming from?" Looking back at the space, I realized that she was sitting in an arched space, was speaking up towards the ceiling (god knows why) and the sound was traveling just like that space in Grand Central right outside the Oyster Bar where you can stand on opposite sides of a vaulted space, speak towards the wall, and the person opposite you can hear you plain as day. In her case, it was amplified. We had a good laugh over that.
It was getting late, we had both been up really early, so he walked me to 5th Avenue, waited for a cab to come, and kissed me good night.
DATE 3, SUNDAY, JANUARY 18
8:00-11:15PM
LOCAL BAR, WATERFRONT
FRIEND
A couple of weeks ago, a friend said to me when we were at Fresh Salt, "I told my ex about the bet. He wants to take you out." My reaction was first, "And this is ok with you?!" She was perfectly fine with it, in fact she sounded relieved. He was soon leaving on a month long trek to South America, so over drinks the two of us discussed whether it would be strategically better to go out with him before he left, or when he returned. The option of 'before he left' won out for whatever reason that night, so before I left for a weekend away, I emailed him telling him we should go for a drink before he left. He replied that he'd love to, so we set a date for that Sunday at 8PM.
It was the night before a holiday (not that I had the day off) so bars were crowded. It was also a night for football playoffs, so one of the bars we tried to go to was miserably loud and full of obnoxious sports fans. We settled on a bar that neither of us would normally go to, but at least there weren't any big screen TVs. We both decided on wine, and the waitress suggested a bottle. Over wine, we discussed architecture, sailing, his trip, many things. He asked me about the bet, so I told him about - all the rules, how it had been going so far, the prize at the end if I won. He told me he could help me out, and suggested two friends he could set me up with, three if I really needed it. At this point, I'm thinking to myself, "OK, this is just a friend date, he's trying to hook me up with other guys, he's not interested."
A couple of minutes later, he leaned over and kissed me. It was surprising, but an nice suprise. We walked down to the water, kissed some more while overlooking the Brooklyn Bridge, and then he walked me home.
We also hung out Inauguration Night at a moveon.com party, but a second date with one of the 15 doesn't count towards the total.
DATE 4, JANUARY 22
8:30-10:50PM
FLATIRON LOUNGE
CHRIS
Chris is the guy that my friend Kathleen met in a bar. He's a very busy guy, so it took a while to set a date, and even then, we needed to reschedule. Seems like a bad sign, right? I decide to meet with him anyway, since I'm running behind my goal of two a week - at this point, I'd only had 3 dates in the same number of weeks, and I was getting worried. Seemed like a trip to Prague was already slipping through my grasp.
The day we were to meet up, he emails me, confirming the date, and telling me how to spot him - red suspenders. Kathleen had already told me that he was wearing a bow tie when she met him, so this wasn't a surprise, but i'd never been out with a guy wearing suspenders, much less a bow tie before. Trying not to let my fashion sense get the best of me.
We met up at the Flatiron Lounge. I'd never been there on a busy night, and it was pretty crowded. We got there around the same time, and he was easy to spot. He went to the bar and ordered drinks, Malbec for me, Sidecar for him. He was a really interesting guy to talk to - worked in finance, but went to Princeton for physics. Funny that this is actually applicable to finance, but there you go.
I had to silence the snobby fashion voice in my head going, "Ah suspenders! Ah, pleated pants? Really?" It should just shut up.
Then something funny started to happen. All of a sudden, a woman's voice, an high pitched one at that, came through the crowd really clearly. I noticed it as the one of a woman I was standing behind when I first got to the bar. She was standing probably twenty feet from where we were sitting, but it sounded like she had just pulled up a chair and was SCREAMING IN MY EAR. I asked Chris if he had heard it, he hadn't. A minute later, he did, and was like, "Oh my god, where is that coming from?" Looking back at the space, I realized that she was sitting in an arched space, was speaking up towards the ceiling (god knows why) and the sound was traveling just like that space in Grand Central right outside the Oyster Bar where you can stand on opposite sides of a vaulted space, speak towards the wall, and the person opposite you can hear you plain as day. In her case, it was amplified. We had a good laugh over that.
It was getting late, we had both been up really early, so he walked me to 5th Avenue, waited for a cab to come, and kissed me good night.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
My biggest cheerleader
Shana has been telling me that I should post an ad on craigslist, and I've been a little resistant, mostly because I was afraid that I'd have men sending me photos of body parts that I'd rather not see from a stranger. I'm not the only one who thought this - so did her boyfriend Justin. But today, and maybe its due to the success of my last date (more on that in a later post when I give an update of this week), I was emboldened and let her post an ad to craigslist on my behalf.
Here it is:
i have an amazing friend, and she won't post an add on craigslist, mostly because most guys on here are going to send pictures that are just not appropriate for the circumstance.
so i am posting an ad for her. since i think i can offer an outsiders perspective on her appearance and qualities. she is also a new friend, not someone i have known since college- so my opinion is of her as she is, currently. i can also hit delete on emails and not take offense to the level of stupidity craigslist sometimes brings out. Aside from that, i believe in online dating and social networking- i met my ltr and many friends from this vast place of postings- so i know it can work.
enough about why i am doing this, and on to who i am doing this for.
my friend, aside from awesome is...
Qualities/attributes you may care about:
employed, no kids, tall, thin, athletic, and redhead.
confident, but quiet.
intelligent but not coincided.
well educated and read but not obnoxious.
sensitive but not wishy-washy.
a really good friend, not co-dependent.
sarcastic but not a cynic.
athletic and tomboy and pulls off a ball gown like a model.
(meaning: plays soccer on Friday and then to the Met on Saturday)
Interests: art, architecture, outside, sailing, soccer, reading, politically intelligent people, tennis, good food, good drinks, and all sorts of other stuff. i wouldn't be friends with her if she only had one dimension.
Likes in a date: men who are employed, politically aware, relaxed, fun, and not morons.
I figured there may be one or two responses. Was I wrong. Immediately, offers started pouring in - 4 in the first 30 minutes of the posting. Makes me wonder if they have jobs or are they always on craigslist. So far there have been 14 responses, 8 of which look like they could be perspective candidates. This will be a boon for upping the total!
Here it is:
i have an amazing friend, and she won't post an add on craigslist, mostly because most guys on here are going to send pictures that are just not appropriate for the circumstance.
so i am posting an ad for her. since i think i can offer an outsiders perspective on her appearance and qualities. she is also a new friend, not someone i have known since college- so my opinion is of her as she is, currently. i can also hit delete on emails and not take offense to the level of stupidity craigslist sometimes brings out. Aside from that, i believe in online dating and social networking- i met my ltr and many friends from this vast place of postings- so i know it can work.
enough about why i am doing this, and on to who i am doing this for.
my friend, aside from awesome is...
Qualities/attributes you may care about:
employed, no kids, tall, thin, athletic, and redhead.
confident, but quiet.
intelligent but not coincided.
well educated and read but not obnoxious.
sensitive but not wishy-washy.
a really good friend, not co-dependent.
sarcastic but not a cynic.
athletic and tomboy and pulls off a ball gown like a model.
(meaning: plays soccer on Friday and then to the Met on Saturday)
Interests: art, architecture, outside, sailing, soccer, reading, politically intelligent people, tennis, good food, good drinks, and all sorts of other stuff. i wouldn't be friends with her if she only had one dimension.
Likes in a date: men who are employed, politically aware, relaxed, fun, and not morons.
I figured there may be one or two responses. Was I wrong. Immediately, offers started pouring in - 4 in the first 30 minutes of the posting. Makes me wonder if they have jobs or are they always on craigslist. So far there have been 14 responses, 8 of which look like they could be perspective candidates. This will be a boon for upping the total!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Its Public...
The Bet is now public. Previous subscribers, feel free to, ummm, spread this to people who can help the cause. I will be off for the weekend, potentially cutting into my dating time, but, well. I'll be having a good time with friends.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Hello Beautiful Angel
Yes, that was the subject of an email from a guy on Match.com that I received today. Here it is in its entirety:
OMG Did anybody tell you that you are one of the most beautiful women in MATCH personals? I bet if they elected Miss match 2009, she has to be you! Your smile lightened my whole heart when I looked at your picture. It must be raining when you were born, because God was crying for losing his most beautiful angel.How long have you been living on earth? ,When do you have to be back in heaven?as i said on my profile,I am looking for a good woman in my life. Someone that I can trust to be who they say they are at all times. I prefer a woman that enjoys wearing her jeans and a t-shirt,but doesn't mind getting dressed up every once in awhile for a night out on the town. I'm not into drama and playing games with people's feelings. I would like someone that will love and respect me for who I am, that likes to hold my hand and surprize me with a little kiss when I least expect it,or give me a wink from across the room to let me know she's thinking about me,or bring me flowers, or give me a call just to let me know she's thinking about me... Because I will be doing the same. I would love someone who is fun to be around, likes to laugh, joke around, enjoy being outdoors going for long romantic walks, enjoys looking at the stars at night, and watching the sun set and rise over the ocean. I am looking for someone that enjoys the simple things in life, just as I do. I would like to meet someone special that I can grow old with, and that we can always look into each other's eyes and know that the love between us is just as wonderful and exciting as the day we met. I want to love a woman for who she is, to spoil her, and love her, and let her know just how much she means to me, by the little things I do or say to make him feel special. While at the same time she treats me in the same way....with love and respect.... I lost my wife some couple of years back. I live life to the fullest, trying as much as possible to help myself and help make a better career for myself and my son future. I never had it in mind that I was going to see an image of someone like you on a dating site or even thought about it, but had always hoped that definitely someday I will get another woman to love and start a better life again, making her my one and only and together we could build our future so great and well. I don't really believe on this internet sites not until a friend of mine asked me to join this site and my first search for someone, was how I came across your profile, you were so pretty and irresistible and I couldn’t get your image off my mind so I was forced to write you and ask if I could know you. It’s a New Year and sure we could meet! I might be somehow far away but I believe we could make thing work if we get to know each other so well with time and I could visit you if you want me to. I will be expecting to hear from you soonest. I bet you are so beautiful! Have a nice time and great day, really do wish you well, If you don’t mind, you can get back to me via my email (nelson2----) at aol dot com at the end of my e-mail i have zero in number and not in word okay or add me on yahoo messager ,here's my ID nelson2---- .i am online right now if you care to chat with me to know me more fine ,feel free .because i am geting off match soon I’ll be glad to read from you soon....Nelson
How does one respond this this? All this emotion based on what I look like. Its a little disconcerting. His profile seems so normal.
So this is Week 2. No dates this week, so I'm falling behind. I do have a date set up for next Wednesday though. Kathleen texted me last week, saying:
"Met a nice guy @ campbell apt. Got his card 4 u. Finance. Had Paul Stuart bag. Yankees fan. Funny"
I contacted him via email, he sent me his number, we talked on the phone last night and set a date for next Wednesday. He had suggested Tuesday, but, well its Inauguration Day! I already had plans. Luckily he was equally happy that it means the end of the current administration, so that was a relief (you never know with these finance guys. Could be Republican). Update on that next week.
Other possibilities? Shana's got something in the works for me, and there is the Music for the Mountains benefit this Thursday. I also changed my profile on Nerve. The subject line reads, "Help me win a trip to Prague!"
OMG Did anybody tell you that you are one of the most beautiful women in MATCH personals? I bet if they elected Miss match 2009, she has to be you! Your smile lightened my whole heart when I looked at your picture. It must be raining when you were born, because God was crying for losing his most beautiful angel.How long have you been living on earth? ,When do you have to be back in heaven?as i said on my profile,I am looking for a good woman in my life. Someone that I can trust to be who they say they are at all times. I prefer a woman that enjoys wearing her jeans and a t-shirt,but doesn't mind getting dressed up every once in awhile for a night out on the town. I'm not into drama and playing games with people's feelings. I would like someone that will love and respect me for who I am, that likes to hold my hand and surprize me with a little kiss when I least expect it,or give me a wink from across the room to let me know she's thinking about me,or bring me flowers, or give me a call just to let me know she's thinking about me... Because I will be doing the same. I would love someone who is fun to be around, likes to laugh, joke around, enjoy being outdoors going for long romantic walks, enjoys looking at the stars at night, and watching the sun set and rise over the ocean. I am looking for someone that enjoys the simple things in life, just as I do. I would like to meet someone special that I can grow old with, and that we can always look into each other's eyes and know that the love between us is just as wonderful and exciting as the day we met. I want to love a woman for who she is, to spoil her, and love her, and let her know just how much she means to me, by the little things I do or say to make him feel special. While at the same time she treats me in the same way....with love and respect.... I lost my wife some couple of years back. I live life to the fullest, trying as much as possible to help myself and help make a better career for myself and my son future. I never had it in mind that I was going to see an image of someone like you on a dating site or even thought about it, but had always hoped that definitely someday I will get another woman to love and start a better life again, making her my one and only and together we could build our future so great and well. I don't really believe on this internet sites not until a friend of mine asked me to join this site and my first search for someone, was how I came across your profile, you were so pretty and irresistible and I couldn’t get your image off my mind so I was forced to write you and ask if I could know you. It’s a New Year and sure we could meet! I might be somehow far away but I believe we could make thing work if we get to know each other so well with time and I could visit you if you want me to. I will be expecting to hear from you soonest. I bet you are so beautiful! Have a nice time and great day, really do wish you well, If you don’t mind, you can get back to me via my email (nelson2----) at aol dot com at the end of my e-mail i have zero in number and not in word okay or add me on yahoo messager ,here's my ID nelson2---- .i am online right now if you care to chat with me to know me more fine ,feel free .because i am geting off match soon I’ll be glad to read from you soon....Nelson
How does one respond this this? All this emotion based on what I look like. Its a little disconcerting. His profile seems so normal.
So this is Week 2. No dates this week, so I'm falling behind. I do have a date set up for next Wednesday though. Kathleen texted me last week, saying:
"Met a nice guy @ campbell apt. Got his card 4 u. Finance. Had Paul Stuart bag. Yankees fan. Funny"
I contacted him via email, he sent me his number, we talked on the phone last night and set a date for next Wednesday. He had suggested Tuesday, but, well its Inauguration Day! I already had plans. Luckily he was equally happy that it means the end of the current administration, so that was a relief (you never know with these finance guys. Could be Republican). Update on that next week.
Other possibilities? Shana's got something in the works for me, and there is the Music for the Mountains benefit this Thursday. I also changed my profile on Nerve. The subject line reads, "Help me win a trip to Prague!"
Monday, January 5, 2009
Week 1
Week one has been successful, at least in the potential number of dates. Three of them from match.com, and one from a friend. This number is somewhat exhausting though, and having a date nearly every night of the week starts to feel like I'm interviewing for a job. By Wednesday, two of the potential dates didn't materialize, so there were two for the week, which was more manageable. Anyway, here's the weekly roundup:
DATE 1, MONDAY JANUARY 5TH.
6:45-8:55
DRINKS AT IL POSTO ACCANTO, EAST VILLAGE
MATCH.COM CONTACT
PREWALKER, AGE 39, NEW YORK, NY
Prewalker's actual name is Andrew, he lives in the East Village, and has lived in NYC since 1987. I was looking forward to this date - his profile seemed interesting, his photos were kind of attractive, and he just seemed like he'd be fun to hang out with. He works freelance in magazine publishing, and he's worked for Vanity Fair and Metropolis among other magazines. He's currently doing a lot of writing/editing for design publications, and so is familiar with what I do. We ordered some wine, and he started to ask me questions about what I was working on. This was going ok, I was talking about the various projects I've been working on lately, then he cut me off and changed the subject. I thought well, maybe he's nervous. So I went along, we started talking about something else, and again, he interupted me. I was thinking to myself, 'well, this is a little strange.' Is he not interested in what I have to say? Does he find me boring? All those questions that we pose to second guess ourselves. What it comes down to is he wasn't listening, or maybe he was more interested in what he had to say. He seemed nice at first, but this was really aggravating, and reminded me of Howard, an ex-boyfriend.
There was also absolutely no chemistry. We finished our wine, he mentioned he had to go meet a friend who was visiting from Seattle at Barbes in Brooklyn, so we left. I decided to walk home. We got the the corner of Houston and Avenue A, shook hands, said our pleasantries, and parted ways. I don't think I'll be hearing from him again. Once across Houston, I checked my blackberry for any messages. robertnolan123 had emailed, asking if I wanted to meet for a late night drink. Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. I'll think I'll go home and catch up on some Gossip Girl I haven't seen.
TUESDAY, JANUARY 6
No date today, but I've got to thank Shana and Kathleen for playing the Jewish/Italian mothers I never had. Its good to have friends out there vetting potential dates for me.
7:00-9:45
DRINKS AND POOL AT TOAD HALL, SOHO
DESSERT AND COFFEE AT LUCKY STRIKE, SOHO
ACQUAINTANCE
In full disclosure, the date this evening was a acquaintance who I've known for a couple of years, and the only thing he knew about the bet was that it was about me being more social this year. He had asked me out before, but I've always declined. He asked me out last week, so we set a date for tonight. For anyone who wants to argue that going out with a friend doesn't count - A. He asked. C. He paid for everything. D. It was never laid out in the rules that dates couldn't be someone I already knew.
We met up at Toad Hall for some pool and drinks. It was a bit awkward at first, I haven't seen him in a while, and its never been just the two of us, but things settled down. He's currently unemployed, but it going to be working on a tall ship for a couple of months in March - if anyone qualified to be second mate needs a job, contact him. After a couple of drinks, we decided to get some dessert, so went next door to Lucky Strike. That's when the conversation got interesting. We discussed the 'divide' between the Meades crowd and the Fresh Salt crowd - apparently, some people who hang out at Meades STILL bear a grudge against some of us.
For my non-sailing friends - last year a couple of us formed a volunteer committee at the seaport - SVC - and some people took offense to it, thought we had aspirations to taking over the seaport, getting people fired, etc. We really just wanted a safer work space and a better relationship between the waterfront and the museum.
He said that he couldn't tell them he was out with me since I was one of the 'evil ones.' I got to hear about all the guys I've been rumored to have slept with. If I were the maneater they make me out to me, I wouldn't need to be coerced into a bet to motivate me to meet more men.
So that was this week. At this rate I'm on track with winning, although I guess I've got to get moving on that kissing clause. For next week, I'm going to try to set up something with the guy Kathleen met, and maybe Shana can persuade one of her co-workers to meet me.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Match.com
So I figured i would try Match.com in order to jumpstart the bet. They've got that 6-month guarantee, the people in the ads are all attractive, why not? I've tried this before, last summer, with not much luck. In perusing the site, there seemed to be a greater range of potential candidates then there were this summer. This is how its gone over the last week:
hudsonhobo: 38, Greenwich, CT. Seemed nice, emailed saying he wanted to take me out, maybe Thursday or Friday of ast week. I replied Friday, never heard back. Profile is no longer posted.
robertnolan123: 44. New York, NY and starman346: 39, New York, NY. Both want to take me out after the holidays, need to email back. Little weirded out that I share a last name with one of them.
Then there was bubbam6971 - 27, fireman, living in Queens. Not really my type physically, too young, but I figure in the interest of the bet, why not. I should be open to guys outside of 'my type', right? So anyway, here's some of the IM transcript.
After telling him I live downtown and work in SoHo, and I'm able to walk to work:
Red: him
Blue: me
10:21 So u live in soho?
10:22 no
10:23 Where do u live?
10:24 sorry, no specifics. we'll just leave it as downtown for now
10:24 Oh
10:24 OK
10:24 But I don't mean what street I just meant what area
10:25 Noho, chinatown
I'm thinking its a little strange that he's already asking where I live, but let it go. It continues,
10:34 Want to ask me anything?
10:34 Why do you like firemen so much?
10:37 I wouldn't say i'm particularly inclined towards firemen
10:37 just had a friend finish the academy, and three of my cousins are firemen out in staten island
11:05 I was a cop for 3 years
11:06 So I still have my handcuffs
Ummm, ew. It goes on...
3:36 When will u tell me where u live?
3:37 I think you live in chinatown, and are embrassed to say.
3:38 Can u atleast tell me is it south of houston?
3:39 Or canal street?
3:45 Do u like pics?
3:49 Want to send me some?
3:49 there's a bunch on my profile
3:53 I know, any fresh pics?
3:53 no, not really. those are all pretty recent
3:54 U can't take one?
3:54 no. why are you asking?
3:58 I like them
3:59 U look very sexy
4:05 do u like to dress sexy?
Wait, what? Why do I feel like I'm all of a sudden in a really bad movie?
4:06 yeah, at this point, i'd rather you not ask me such questions
4:06 Iam sorry, I always ask a lot of questions
He continued with the sorries, but between the insistence on knowing where I lived, and the sexy references, I just really wanted nothing more to do with this guy.
I'm now navigating all the meanings of 'my matches' and 'winks' and 'favoriting' - it just seems more straightforward to just send a message if you're interested. I emailed one of the guys who favorited me, and he emailed back - prewalker, 39, New York, NY. Works in publishing, had an amusing run-in with Alec Baldwin. He suggested a drink on Monday, so we'll see how that goes.
hudsonhobo: 38, Greenwich, CT. Seemed nice, emailed saying he wanted to take me out, maybe Thursday or Friday of ast week. I replied Friday, never heard back. Profile is no longer posted.
robertnolan123: 44. New York, NY and starman346: 39, New York, NY. Both want to take me out after the holidays, need to email back. Little weirded out that I share a last name with one of them.
Then there was bubbam6971 - 27, fireman, living in Queens. Not really my type physically, too young, but I figure in the interest of the bet, why not. I should be open to guys outside of 'my type', right? So anyway, here's some of the IM transcript.
After telling him I live downtown and work in SoHo, and I'm able to walk to work:
Red: him
Blue: me
10:21 So u live in soho?
10:22 no
10:23 Where do u live?
10:24 sorry, no specifics. we'll just leave it as downtown for now
10:24 Oh
10:24 OK
10:24 But I don't mean what street I just meant what area
10:25 Noho, chinatown
I'm thinking its a little strange that he's already asking where I live, but let it go. It continues,
10:34 Want to ask me anything?
10:34 Why do you like firemen so much?
10:37 I wouldn't say i'm particularly inclined towards firemen
10:37 just had a friend finish the academy, and three of my cousins are firemen out in staten island
11:05 I was a cop for 3 years
11:06 So I still have my handcuffs
Ummm, ew. It goes on...
3:36 When will u tell me where u live?
3:37 I think you live in chinatown, and are embrassed to say.
3:38 Can u atleast tell me is it south of houston?
3:39 Or canal street?
3:45 Do u like pics?
3:49 Want to send me some?
3:49 there's a bunch on my profile
3:53 I know, any fresh pics?
3:53 no, not really. those are all pretty recent
3:54 U can't take one?
3:54 no. why are you asking?
3:58 I like them
3:59 U look very sexy
4:05 do u like to dress sexy?
Wait, what? Why do I feel like I'm all of a sudden in a really bad movie?
4:06 yeah, at this point, i'd rather you not ask me such questions
4:06 Iam sorry, I always ask a lot of questions
He continued with the sorries, but between the insistence on knowing where I lived, and the sexy references, I just really wanted nothing more to do with this guy.
I'm now navigating all the meanings of 'my matches' and 'winks' and 'favoriting' - it just seems more straightforward to just send a message if you're interested. I emailed one of the guys who favorited me, and he emailed back - prewalker, 39, New York, NY. Works in publishing, had an amusing run-in with Alec Baldwin. He suggested a drink on Monday, so we'll see how that goes.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
The rules
A friend and I have made a wager where as I will attempt to go on 15 dates in 10 weeks. The rules:
1. Yes, it has to be with 15 different men.
2. The dates needs to be 2 hours.
3. These two hours have to be doing activities that require talking - no movies, unless its a movie plus 2 hours of doing something else.
4. I must get a phone number.
5. 65% of the dates must end in a kiss (that's around 10 out of the 15).
The bet starts January 5th and ends March 16th. If I complete the bet, my friend is paying for two plane tickets, and we're going to Prague for a week. If I don't, I have to redesign his apartment. Either result needs to be completed by 2012.
The first date I have set up is for next Wednesday. I'll keep you posted.
1. Yes, it has to be with 15 different men.
2. The dates needs to be 2 hours.
3. These two hours have to be doing activities that require talking - no movies, unless its a movie plus 2 hours of doing something else.
4. I must get a phone number.
5. 65% of the dates must end in a kiss (that's around 10 out of the 15).
The bet starts January 5th and ends March 16th. If I complete the bet, my friend is paying for two plane tickets, and we're going to Prague for a week. If I don't, I have to redesign his apartment. Either result needs to be completed by 2012.
The first date I have set up is for next Wednesday. I'll keep you posted.
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